Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Adults Rarely Sleep in Spandex


Photos by Lauren Shannon
When David and I were engaged, we read a lot of books about marriage. Many of them had case studies about how marriages can suffer--moody wives, husbands who work too much, differences of opinions about raising children, and philosophical conflicts about whether Kant or Hegel better accommodates a theology of sin.

The last one I made up.

There are no books for philosophers who are preparing for marriage, so I'm going to write one. It will be called No Refutations at the Dinner Table: A Practical Guide for Married Philosophers afloat in the Noumenon at Supper Who Accidentally Espouse the Views of the Philosopher They Are Currently Reading and Talk to Each Other Like They Are Foes Responding to One Another within the Intellectual History when They Actually Love Each Other and Like Eating Dinner Together, by Sabrina Little.

And though we searched through the marriage books, there were also no case studies shedding light on what to do when your World Championship is the same week as your wedding.

Do you go?

Does that mean you have to carb load on your wedding day?

Do they make wedding dresses out of compression fabrics?

Is it cool if I lace our wedding cake with electrolytes and proteins?

Is it okay if after we say "I do," we jog down the aisle to keep my legs fresh and then you drive me to the airport so I can go fly to Poland where I can achieve my life-long goal of representing the United States by running in a paved circle for 24 hours?

I decided not to go. I wanted to be fully present at the wedding, not forward-looking. And since I've already qualified for the 2013 team, I'll be okay. So here is my race report.



Race Report:
Race Name: Marriage
Race Results: Everybody wins. Name change.
Significance: permanence, be-husbanded
Amount of Gatorade: zero cups
Hair status: straightened it so that we could put curls in it because being a girl is complicated
Complexity: I didn't know if I was going to fit into my wedding dress because I had my final fitting 2 days after I ran for 24 hours at BOMF. (This happens to every bride.) I was still swollen because I'd worn the wrong sneakers, so I had some elephantine qualities. The fitting of the race sneakers had been incorrect, so my feet were too cut up for me to wear heels while having it hemmed. But even though I was almost like an elephant, I was also still dehydrated--desiccated like a raisin--so it probably balanced me out. The dress still fit. I'm the luckieeeeeesssst.



My next race will be the Ultracentric 24-Hour event in Grapevine, Texas in mid-November. I can't wait. Since starting this sport, I haven't gone this long without racing, so I am already itching for competition. I think this extended period of rest will serve me well. Until then, I am enjoying married life down here in Texas--teaching, coaching, and running.

Here is one thing I recently learned:

Adults rarely sleep in spandex.
(I mean spandex of the running variety.)

But I love to because:

Sleeping
Pants
Always
Need to
Decline
Evading
spandeX


I like your pajamas.
Cute pajamas.
Those are great pajamas, and I can tell that you have goals.

I'm not the authority on spandex, and probably not on pants. But I do set goals. I know that it is a shortcut to sleep in running clothes because it takes the guesswork out of your morning. If you're already wearing spandex, you have already made the decision to go running. Tip for success: Make proactive steps toward your goals when you're awake. Sleep in your spandex.

Happy married trails,
Sabrina